My name is John and I’m a drug addict.  For almost 25 years I was an active, using addict.  Today I am a recovering addict and a Christ follower.

I was what some people call a “functional” addict.  For 25 years I drank and used drugs on a daily basis while maintaining a career and a family.  I used for many reasons.  I used to celebrate and to mourn.  I used when I was tired and when I wanted to calm down.  I used all the time because that’s what I did.  Even when I acknowledged that my drug use (alcohol is a drug) was becoming a problem I continued to use.  I thought I had to, I thought I couldn’t quit.

Although I could lie to myself and think everything was OK or that all my problems were caused by something or someone else, everything was not OK.  My career was suffering but much more importantly my family was suffering, a lot!  They say all addicts have to reach their own bottom. Finally I hit mine, November 28, 2004.  My wife sat across from me and calmly told me she simply couldn’t take it anymore.  I needed to move out of the house or she was going to take my sons and move out.

I felt as though my world was crashing down around me.  After drugs, my family meant everything to me.  A husband and a father, that’s what I was, that was my identity and now it was being ripped away by my addiction.

I had been to treatment (unsuccessfully) a couple of times so I pretty much knew what I was supposed to do.  The next day I attended a meeting of Narcotics Anonymous.  I would repeat that step nearly everyday for the next 18 months.

At the same time, I started attending church and had met some regular guys, not the preachy churchy types I was always put off by.  These guys didn’t judge me or reject me.  They accepted me as I was, encouraged me to get better and truly wanted to help me.  They supported me and taught me more about Christ and the Bible.  I began reading the Bible every day.  I prayed that God would help me stay clean and reunite me with my family.  I prayed this every single day, over and over, for years.

Slowly over time I began to change.  I began losing the desire to use drugs and alcohol.  I began to feel good about myself.  I began to believe that if I stayed focused on just doing the next right thing, God would take care of me.  I had hope.

After almost 2 years clean, my prayer was answered and my family was restored, sort of.  God had decided that my sons should live with me even though my wife and I were unable to reconcile.  It wasn’t the whole family I had hoped for or expected.  I guess my God needed to make sure I remember that actions have consequences, I don’t know, but I was thrilled to be able to be a full time father again.

I have been clean now for over 4½ years.  I am a better dad to my sons than I even imagined I could be.  I love my life, I love God, I love my kids and I even like myself a little bit.

I recommend the following web sites.  Both are good for Alcohol as well as Narcotic addictions:

Narcotics Anonymous - www.na.org

Alcoholics Anonymous - www.aa.org