I was a Licensed Vocational Nurse and have worked in the Oncology Unit. I usually cried every time one of my patients died.  And I’d feel the pain of the family who was left behind.  Last March I received the most devastating news in my life. What a surprise to me when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

My whole family was also devastated, especially my mom who said she’d rather have it instead of me. I spent several nights crying.  Nights of asking God what He wanted to teach me and what I still needed to surrender to Him. After a month, I was told that I was scheduled for a Mastectomy.  

It was a very different feeling for me …  as a nurse I knew exactly what and how the procedure would be done.  Now, I was the one on the operating table, I was the patient not the nurse taking care of the patient, not the nurse who tells her patient "It's gonna be alright."  I spent the waiting period talking to the Lord, reading His Word, searching His heart and His mind. This helped me prepared for the surgery. It was like: "Come on let's get it over with."   

When the nurse took me from my room to the operating table - I can still clearly remember - a very reassuring word came to me from the Lord: "Be still and know that I am God," Psalm 46:10.  Then, I felt His hand holding my cold hands.  I knew from that very moment, sure enough He is true to His promise that He will never leave me.  

The next phase of the treatment was the hardest for me - CHEMOTHERAPY! This time the fear that I had was replaced by peace, by trust and by faith that I am not alone - the Greatest Physician was with me, always with me.  I knew very well that I would lose my hair but then it's alright with me as long as I will not lose the Holy Spirit of the Living God residing in my heart.

Sure enough, chemotherapy was no joke. If you can name all the side effects of these drugs … I had them all, right after the third session. I was very, very weak.  I thought I could not make it anymore.  But then again, “... in my weakness my Lord is strong,” 2 Corinthians 13:9.  Every time I experienced the pain and fatigue I would cry out to His name.  Then, I was fine. My chemo went on for six sessions on the 3rd week of each month.

My doctors decided to have me do 6 weeks of radiation.  It was on my 5th week in November that my beloved father went home to be with our Lord. He did not know that I had the cancer diagnosis; all he knew was that I was sick. He never saw me bald (thank the Lord for scarves & bonnets).  It was another test of faith for me & my family to lose my dad.   However, I was not shaken away from my faith.

Sometimes we learn the lesson of trust through trials. "How precious is Your loving kindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings."(Psalm 36:7)  

My radiation treatments were cut from 6 weeks to 5 1/2 weeks.  Praise the Lord! The final step was to receive infusions of Herceptin.

 My husband and I are not working right now so we don't have any income to pay for our bills and mortgage but we are holding on to His promises that He will supply all our needs. I know that the Lord is using all these circumstances to show us His power and His love to us. I know that the reason why I am going through this, is He wants me to be the child that He created in His image and likeness. I thank Him for my every breath, for every victory against this disease because I am more than a conqueror having Him in my life! 

Currently, I am undergoing occupational therapy for lymphodema caused by the surgery last year. I know I will survive this with His help and grace. 

To God be the glory!! 

Updates from Emma:

*I use the internet every time I want to know anything regarding any prescriptions that my doctors give me.

*I suggest you attend seminars given to the community for free by our local hospitals here where you live.

* One piece of advice I want to share is: get yourself involved in your treatment plan with your medical team.  Don't keep any questions & any doubts to yourself. 

And above all, “ BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD."